Time

Time determines a lot of things.
Your fate could be turning around to the opposite direction. The direction which you never see coming. The direction which you never want to take.
Time is moving on too fast.
Too fast to a point where I can’t keep up with the constant changes I’m left to face with, alone.
I’ve dated, got into 2 relationships but things always find its way to its ugly end.
The end.
The end of a relationship is the most daunting, dreadful, painful and bitter cycle that one has to go through.
But why is it only me that feels that way? Why doesn’t the other party feel the same way like I did?
Was it so easy to walk out on us?
I Dont want to ask further.
I can hardly breathe with the pain penetrating deep into my scarred heart,
Leaving me nothing but a bared, wounded and liveless soul wandering around aimlessly.
Life is certainly unfair.
Life always find it’s way to put me into so many hurdles in life, to test my patience and perseverance.

But I’m only human.
There’s only so much I can take.

For the first time in forever,
I wish I could wake up in amnesia.

Thank you to those that stick with me throughout the days I feel the world was against me.
Thank you Syarinah for those hugs for I needed it most at the point where every atom of me is literally failing on me.
Thank you amethyst for being stern and firm with me and for the concern you’ve had all these while.
Thank you Pritpal, for taking the time to help us out. You’re are truly a great friend. And the hug, yes, I needed that too.
Thank you Shanaz. Your presence was so special, I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

I love you.
All of you.

Identity

Is she better?
Are you happier?
Do you think of me as much as i do think about you?
do i cross your mind?
for me it happens all the time.

I wont deny that yes, she is prettier
She might be less petty than i am
More fun than i am
Embracing and showering you with a different kind of love and attention

to a point i’ve convinced myself that yes,
Yes you are happy with the life you’re leading right now.
University, a good loving family, and a good love life.

but why does it seemed like im the one at the losing end?
why do you make it seemed so easy?
im frustrated,
Im mad
Im sad
because as much as i hate to admit it
i cant runaway from the fact that i miss you,
i still care and look out for you from a really long distance ever since you walked out from us.

A longing.
A longing to see your face,
that curve on your lips whenever you smile,
the kind and beautiful words that come out from your sweet mouth,
words that enlighten, uplift my spirits and puts a smile on my face,
the feeling of downright comfortable just the thought of you.
i miss you.

is this cheating?
or is this me backfiring my emotions.

i dont even know what im doing right now.

or perhaps im just drunk in my thoughts.

x

Hi

i’ve always been a fan of fashion and make up ever since i was a young girl. my sister used to hate the sight of me back then because i was really vain, cocky, arrogant and very outspoken. i would say whatever that’s on my mind without even being sensitive to other’s feelings. My mother loved me a lot then. she loved that i like to be fashionable and what not but she is a very strict and complicated person at the same time. Things seemed to switched as i grew older. there’s always a love-hate relationship that me and my 2 other siblings have for her. Our grandma took care of us when we were young, so you might have guessed that my siblings and i are very much attached to granny, up till today.

So why “Unvogue Me”?

as much as my obsession with fashion and make up, any girl would love to be labelled “Vogue” or at least i know i would.
But i’d like to see myself as Vogue regardless. Dressing up well, put my make up on, statement earrings and necklaces, red lipstick and what not. But dont you just wonder for a second that a Fashionista is just as pretty as a painting.

Now put your Literature Cap on.
think of Mona Lisa. Fashion is just like it. Beside the facade complexity a latter is portraying, you can never be sure what lies beneath all that make up, the designer clothes , that smile and that confidence as she struts down the pathway with the empowering Chanel perfume. She’s all about that Passion for Fashion and the Vogue label.
however, beneath all that, she’s just like any of the other girls. Scarred, insecurities, hurt, betrayal.
Hence, Unvogue me.

It is my kind of perception of exposing my deepest secret and thoughts. just like a diary, penning down my day at school or work. just that this time, it’s an all rounder -> fashion,make up, girl talks, anything, everything.

i guess i’ll just make my first post short and sweet. Besides, i need to rest for i’ll need to be up early tomorrow.
Another day, another chance to live your life Or Another day, another battle day to survive.

What’s your take?

God Bless.

Lyla

x